“SUCCULANT TOPIC:” Tech mogul wears penis device that counts his erections

A tech mogul and biohacker who spends millions of dollars trying to age backward has tackled another body problem.

Johnson’s latest obsession is with his…Johnson.

Part of his US$2 million regime includes wearing a small device on his penis to monitor his nighttime erections.

The tracker looks like an AirPods case with a turquoise strap, so imagine a penis carrying a small purse.

“I average two hours and 12 minutes each night of an erection of some quality,” he told the publication.

“To turn 18, it would take three hours and 30 minutes.”

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He calls nocturnal erections “a biological age marker for your sexual function,” one that could also predict other health outcomes like cardiovascular fitness.

Last month, he tweeted about rejuvenating his penis, which he called a “fascinating topic.”

(This is more of a dad joke than a teenager joke, but we digress.)

He then described what “rejuvenating Johnson’s Johnson” would involve injecting his penis, measuring his penile artery as well as ejaculation volume, maximum urination velocity, sperm motility and a plaque check of the penis. penis.

Johnson also measured his erection hardness score (EHS), a self-report measure approved by the American Urological Association that helps patients measure erectile stiffness.

Scores range from 1 to 4, with 4 being completely difficult; Johnson got a 4.

That said, Johnson admitted that his lifestyle made it very difficult for him to date, talking about what he calls the “10 reasons why (women) will literally hate me.”

The list includes: dinner at 11:30, no vacations in the sun, bed at 8:30, no small talk, always sleeping alone and, of course, “these are not my number one priority.”

Johnson called anything that accelerates aging, from eating a cookie to sleeping less than eight hours, an “act of violence.”